Text messages (2) from @TheAlmighty

Jonathan Capeheart is right. There are too many politicians who think they have a DM connection to "@TheAlmighty and then subject the rest of us to what they say His judgment is." The Word according to our latest Moses, Michele Bachmann, is that God is showcasing His wrath "to get the attention of the politicians." The lady who has God on speed-dial says the recent earthquake and hurricane are incontrovertible proof. She said He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ For the Lord wants the pols to: "Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending." Because, you know, God is all about American government spending. And why is God taking a special interest in the politics of one very specific set of hominids in one particular country on an obscure planet circling an average sun in a unremarkable solar system orbiting the fringes of a galaxy that is located somewhere inside a universe reputed to contain an infinite number of galaxies? Cause the voices in Bachmann's head say so. Call me nutty, but I suspect @TheAlmighty has better things to do. Forgive us, Lord, for we clearly know not what we do ― our politicians least of all.

Update: Feeling the blow-back, Bachmann now says she was just kidding about the Lord's text messages via pestilence and plague. Uh huh. Sure you were.