Happy landings, GOP

According to a new American Sociological Association study, most Tea Party members and their symphatizers exhibit four primal characteristics: "Authoritarianism, ontological insecurity (fear of change), libertarianism and nativism." Bonus factoid: "66 percent of conservatives who support the tea party movement say [Obama] is not a Christian." Now why am I not shocked? And these are the whackjobs who are calling the shots in the GOP today? Wow. One wonders: When, oh when, will mainstream Republicans awaken from their fever dream and pull this Airplane! out of its dive? Reporter: "What kind of plane is it?" Johnny: "Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol." Air traffic controller: "Bad news. The fog's getting thicker." Elaine Dickinson: "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" Rex Kramer: "Striker, you're coming in too fast!" Ted Striker: "I know, I know!" Elaine Dickinson: [relaying] "He knows, he knows." Jive Lady: "Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!" Happy landings, Republicans.