Dancing with the B-List Stars

"It's that time of year again," the The LA Times breathlessly reported. "ABC has unveiled its next batch of 'celebs' who will quick-step their way through the 13th season on Dancing with the Stars." Well, Jumpin' Jack Flash and slap me silly. OK, OK -- so I'm not impressed. That's just me. "Stars" ranks No. 2 behind "American Idol" in popularity. So I'm clearly the odd man out (again). But looking over the show's new slate of "celebs" is like walking down a B-Lister Skid Row. Nancy Grace (Darth Vaderess and queen ambulance chaser), Ricki Lake (talk show host has-been), Elizabetta Canalis (famous cuz she dated George Clooney once), Chaz Bono (yeah her, I mean, "him"), Rob Kardashian (the only one in the clan who pees standing up), Chyna Phillips (um, who?) and a few others who function only under the klieg lights, any klieg lights. Sure, it's fun, it's diverting, it's harmless and That's Entertainment. But it's a pity that this popular show trumpets exactly the wrong subliminal message to the huddled masses: You don't exist unless you're on TV (like the spotlight-craving "stars" on Dancing with the Stars).