Blowing smoke

I love it when pundits hyperventilate (or is it choke?) over wisps of smoke. It seems Herman Cain (the pizza mogul-guy) landed unexpectedly atop a GOP Florida straw poll today. TPM's Josh Marshall immediately went to work discerning the "upshot" of the upset win. Rick Perry, the GOP frontrunner, was expected to win big, Texan-style. But since Cain managed to snatch Perry from the jaws of victory, it must mean that the "conservative/Tea Party wing of the party is seriously disillusioned with Perry," as Marshall concludes. No, not really. Don't get me wrong. I'm not picking on the usually level-headed Marshall. He's hardly alone in the business of blowing smoke rings today. Having read a LA Times piece on the straw poll, Roger Ebert (yeah, the "Two Thumbs Up" movie guy) tweeted: "Perry's campaign in desperate spin control after his crushing 2-to-1 loss to Herman Cain." Actually, they're not (Team Perry is too busy spinning it as a big Romney loss). The Wall Street Journal wrote: "Herman Cain catapulted back into the presidential picture after winning today's Florida GOP straw poll." Really, WSJ? Whatever is these folks are smoking, it must be good sh#t.

Bear in mind that the straw poll represents a plurality of only 2,000 partisans, and all were required to pay cash for the privilege of participating. Cain, therefore, is the preference of the nuttiest of the nutcase pool. Behold the voting logic of delegate Beth Shields who told POLITICO: “When I came here, I was really hoping that [Perry] was going to make me love him and I just don’t think he showed well. On the other hand, Shields added, Cain was “not full of himself. He’s honest, he’s got a sense of humor, he’s got a plan.” Does Shields represent the views of most Tea Partiers? I doubt it. (I do, however, love Shields' line: Perry didn't "make me love him." Heh. The Texan governor better switch cologne brands. The Old Spice clearly ain't working.) Meanwhile, I imagine "Hermanator" Cain, already a legend in his own mind, thinks he's now fast-tracking to the White House ("I'm king of the world!").

But no worries if you've never heard of the Florida straw poll. Most folks (including Republicans) haven't either. Which is exactly the point.