'Ack-Ack' over New York

Wait. Lemme get this straight. The NYPD now has Triple-A capabilities (that's anti-aircraft artillery for you civilians) in the event of another 9/11-style terrorist attack? You're telling me Hizzoner Bloomberg can opt to fill the skies over Central Park with "ack-ack" to bring down a threatening airliner, like, with a phone call? That's pretty much what New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly implied on "60 Minutes" Sunday. Yes, he said, the NYPD has "some means to take down a plane" in an "extreme situation." Right. Sure it does. And if you believe that, I've got some primo desert land in Death Valley I want to sell you. Needless to say, Kelly would not elaborate.

First, I bet this is an elaborate head fake. New York wants terrorists to believe it has anti-aircraft defenses. During the interview, Kelly brought up the movie Casablanca, zeroing in on the scene in which Major Strasser boasts to Rick about supposed Nazi omnipotence. "Can you imagine us in London?" he asks with an evil smile. Rick: "When you get there, ask me!" Major Strasser: "How about New York?" Rick: "Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade." Exactly, Kelly said, hoping prospective evil doers will get the same message. Who knows? The ruse may even work. Lucky for us, your typical terrorist tends not to be the brightest color in the crayon box.

Second, and call it a hunch, I seriously doubt that the Pentagon is outsourcing surface-to-air missile capabilities to cops. In reality (and I'm guessing here), it may have pre-positioned Triple-A batteries at military facilities close to or inside NYC. In the event of another airborne attack against the city, they could be deployed as a second-tier line of defense (the first being fighter jets), probably under the auspices of the National Guard. Another possibility, I suppose, is that selected SWAT units have been trained to use shoulder-fired Stinger missiles. Then again, why bother when US Army personnel (with more training and experience) could be quickly choppered into NYC. In any event, I doubt we'll be seeing ack-ack emplacements atop skycrapers or beat cops armed with portable missiles anytime soon.