(Un)Smooth Operator

The political consensus about Rick Perry's debate performance last night is unanimous. In a word, he was awful. The universal derision prompted a mea culpa of sorts from the Texan governor. Speaking before a friendly crowd in Florida today, Perry remarked, "As conservatives we know that values and visions matter. It’s not who is the slickest candidate or smoothest debater who we need to elect.” Besides, he added, how can you trust smooth operators like President Obama who "can sure talk a good game," and Bill Clinton who “sell ice cubes to Eskimos and the next day be against ice cubes.” Really? Is Perry really dragging out Clinton's "slick Willie" caricature? Besides from it being a relic of political antiquity, the Big Dog finished his White House gig a while back. Somebody should remind Perry that (1) it's not 1992, (2) he's not running for student body president, and (3) his Democratic opponent is not Napoleon Dynamite. Funny how it never occurs to preening C students that intelligence, substance and integrity matter more than "values" (which is nothing more than a dog whistle to conservatives pining for the 1950s). Smoothness is merely window-dressing. In fact, I seem to recall a tall, lanky Republican fella with a nasally voice and train wreck of a face. This pol was many things, but smooth he wasn't. They called him Abe Lincoln. But when it comes to smarts, the gulf between Lincoln and Perry is as wide as the Texas Panhandle. And every time Perry opens his mouth he proves it.