Sunday, September 4, 2011

Liberals will drive you to drink

It nearly drives me to drink when a card-carrying member of the "professional left" steps up to plate to bat on behalf of all Democrats. A feverish longing for single-malt whiskey gripped me as soon as I saw Matt Stoller's headline on Salon: "What Democrats can do about Obama." Oh boy. Here we go.

Cue the tired litany: 71% (per Gallup) disapprove of Obama's job on the economy. Supposedly he's now unpopular with union households, women and even young people. (Evidence? Nah, just take Stoller's word for it.) His coming jobs speech "won't mean anything." (Because Stoller says so). "It would be one thing if Obama were failing because he was too close to party orthodoxy. Yet his failures have come precisely because Obama has not listened to Democratic Party voters," Stoller opines. Got that? Following left-wing orthodoxy would have doomed him for sure. But not following it doomed him ayway. Right. Oh and the kicker: Stoller says "Obama has ruined the Democratic Party," too. The reason? Less people consider themselves Democrats now ― or something.

So what can Dems (i.e., ultra-left activists) do about Barack W. Bush? Stoller: Why, run a Democratic challenger to him in 2012 of course. That'll solve everything. "Candidates wouldn't have to pretend to be running for president or be presidential quality," Stroller says. "Only by shaking up the current political order will solutions emerge." You know, like magic. "Where are the jobs, and what is the plan to stop foreclosures?" Stoller shouts in righteous indignation. Because surely Obama can snap his fingers and employ everyone; and then divine solvency for every household overnight.

I don't know why I bother with these critiques. Stoller, an academic at the Roosevelt Institute, is well-meaning. He raises a worthy point or two. But rest assured that his prescriptions would indeed result in profound change. Its name would be President Rick Perry. Barkeep, where's my whiskey? And another round for my friends. <Hic!>

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