Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Watch out: Obama is waiting, 'all back-of-the-bus'

I'll get to President Obama momentarily. But first a little set-up:

In the 2004 sci-fi movie The Chronicles of Riddick (a sequel to Pitch Black), Vin Diesel reprised his role as Riddick, a very dangerous man with a heart of gold. Though Pitch Black was a sleeper hit, Chronicles was, well, kinda not that good. A third film is in the works. Though set in the 27th century, the characters use 21st colloquialisms (which is like Obama giving a speech in Elizabethan Era English). It's preposterous of course, but whatever. After being captured by mercenaries, the surefooted Riddick opts to bide his time before making his move. "Don't know about this new crew of yours," Riddick says sardonically to the leader. "They seem a bit ... skittish. Probably shouldn't tell 'em what happened to the last crew." Guffawing, the cocky merc chides him for getting caught: "You know, you supposed to be some slick-shit killer. Now look at you... all back-of-the-bus and shit." Riddick, who is chained to a rack inside the spacecraft cabin, just smiles knowingly. As usual, his enemies are underestimating him. Big mistake.

Anyway, following this tit for tat, Riddick does a quiet but memorable soliloquy as he slips into cryosleep (you can find it here). His innate unflappability, coolness under fire, ninja-like talent for escaping trouble, and ability to stay ten chess moves ahead of his opponents naturally reminded me of Obama. So here's what I imagine he would say in Riddick's place:
Birthers. Trump. Tea Partiers. Left-wing whiners. And now Perry. Shit, I've never been so popular. I should probably slip these political chains and open up a can of whup-ass right now. Hillary and McCain know what I'm talkin' about. But why drive when you can get driven? Free ticket back to the Oval. Thanks "Repelicans." Got me some business there, named America. Gotta get her right and tight. And once we settle up, I walk away forever. So I'll just wait ... all back-of-the-bus -- for now.
I think that rather nicely sums up what's probably going on in the president's head right now. Underestimate him at your peril. And I just love that "all back-of-the-bus" phrase and its multiple connotations. By the way, in the movie the mercs ultimately go down in flames just like all of Obama's opponents have to date.

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