A 'Sugar-coated Satan Sandwich'

In a way, the worst part of the debt ceiling deal is the aftermath. Woe is us, cry the pundits. "Obama caved," whines the Professional Left. "A Terrible Deal," lament the newspaper editorials. "Who's up, who's down," laughs POLITICO, cynically stirring the pot. Sadly, most of the righteous indignation will come from Mr. Obama's left flank. It's so tiresome.

Fortunately, Slate's David Weigel has done political observers a huge favor. With great wit, he perfectly captures the tone of left wing outrage ― so we don't have to. This cheeky bit says it all:

My Angry Debt Deal Denunciation! [insert byline here]: "I am [outraged/fed up/fixin’ to vomit] at the news of this [sellout/betrayal/Chekovian drama of political adultery]. While I have yet to see all the details of this plan, it may be the worst piece of legislation since [the Kansas/Nebraska compromise/the Enabling Act/the one that renamed a rest stop in New Jersey after Howard Stern]. We all agree that the deficit needs to be reduced, but it should not be done [on the backs of our seniors/in the dead of night/until we reach 4 percent unemployment again]. Instead, we Democrats are being asked to support a [Satan sandwich/Hitler hoagie/bin Laden banh mi], with a [mayonnaise of betrayal/chipotle glaze of mistrust/pesto of austerity]. If this is passed, our president – whom I [supported/strongly supported/had to suck it up and support, even though I liked Hillary Clinton and saw all this crap coming, because if I didn’t the Daily Kos comment section would have made me out to be a racist, and I’m totally not] – risks becoming a new [Jimmy Carter/Grover Cleveland/Emperor Palpatine]. Let’s [go back to the drawing board/head back to the table/find some new sand, draw a line in it, and borrow a can from my friend Bruce that we can kick around]. America can do [better than/slightly better than/not quite as terrible as] this."

Heh. Enough said. Scanning the papers today, the only sensible assessment came from the Washington Post editorial board: "THIS CIRCUS has lasted way too long." No kidding. By the way, if it's going to keep you up nights not knowing the details of the deal Obama cut, the New York Times' Nate Silver has a very balanced take. Sweet dreams.