Real men are ex-cargo pilots

There's an old joke Marine pilots used to tell: "How do you know if there is an Air Force pilot at your party? He'll tell you." Newly-minted presidential candidate Rick Perry is telling anyone who will listen that he was once an Air Force pilot. (Don't think "Top Gun." Think cargo plane. He flew the C-130, a four-engine turboprop transport aircraft.) Then he'll use that fact to cast aspersions at President Obama: “The president had the opportunity to serve his country I’m sure, at some time, and he made the decision that that wasn’t what he wanted to do." Translation: Real men served in the military. Ergo, I'm a real American. Let's see. Less than 10% of the US population has served in the military, according to the US Census. Hmm. So does that make other 90% unpatriotic, you know, like the "wuss" in the White House? Oh, and here's another inconvenient fact for our Texan fly-boy: Per Gallup polls, most voters (including veterans) don't give a whit about a candidate's military service. Going forward, Perry should heed the advice of a little girl named Nicola. In a note written in crayon, she wrote: "dear captain: my name is nicola. im 8 years old. this is my first flight. but im not scared. i like to watch the clouds go by. mommy says u are nice. i think your plane is good. thank u for a nice flight. don't fuck up the landing. luv, nicola." Wiser words have never been spoken.