Beck's leaving: Earth to spin on axis again

Today is Glenn Beck's last day at Fox News. Yes ... I know, I know -- my lip is quivering, too. The talk show host is stepping down after two riotousness years, though it felt like decades. We'd love to watch your last show, Glenn, but we have a root canal scheduled today. But hey, no hard feelings. Please accept our hearty congratulations for becoming what the Huffington Post terms as the "most polarizing personality on an already-polarizing network." You're welcome. And hat's off to your brilliant shtick. A lesser man could not have pulled it off. You've bilked enough cash from your mindless minions and Rupert Murdoch to last a lifetime. So, please, don't hurt your fingers counting all those bundled c-notes. Rest assured, buddy, you won't mind not being missed by, well, everybody in the reality-based world. Now, watch yourself: Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Happy trails.