Little Big Men, Tyrant Edition

Chinese writer Lin Yutang (1895–1976) once said, "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set." Yutang was not referring to stature, of course. Yet, history is curiously replete with undersized tyrants. These men (and they were almost always men) are case studies in what I call “Little Big Men Syndrome“ (LBMS for, um, short). Humor me as I take a quick look back at the key short (and not so short) tyrannos through the ages.

ANCIENT TYRANTS: History doesn’t record Attila the Hun’s exact height. But second-hand accounts found by Roman diplomat Priscus suggest Attila was short and squat. And like any archetypal warmonger, he had beady eyes and a large head (to better hold that outsized ego). The folks he ransacked from Saxony to the Black Sea can stipulate to his wrath. The other notable despot from antiquity was the Roman Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus – or Nero. Standing about 5’6”, Nero put the “T” in tyrannical. This is the guy who murdered his own mother (and countless others) and infamously "fiddled while Rome burned." (In contrast, Roman ruler Hadrian – known as one of Edward Gibbon’s “Five Good Emperors” – was tall, strong and well-groomed.)

18TH CENTURY TYRANTS: Standing about 5’5” in his polished boots, Napoleon Bonaparte put the “M” in “Martinet.” It certainly explains this boast: “France has more need of me than I have need of France.” Napoleon legacy is clear, as Historian Victor Davis Hanson observed: 17 years of war, 6 million Europeans dead, France bankrupt and her overseas colonies lost. But if Napoleon was a dictator, Maximilien Robespierre was a bona fide megalomaniac. After the French Revolution, the pocket-sized Robespierre (5’3”) became the driving force behind the infamous Reign of Terror (“La Terreur”). For him, terrorism was a laudable means to enforce Republic virtue. Some 16,000 to 40,000 paid the bill, most at the guillotine. Indifferent to mercy, Robespierre once said, “Pity is treason.”

FEMALE TYRANTS: My digging unearthed no height info about two notable female autocrats, but both likely stood well under 6 feet (history generally remembers Amazons). Though Empress Catherine II of Russia (“Catherine the Great”) had no qualms about crushing people under her stylish pumps (tens of thousands of Cossacks died in brutal reprisals), this 18h century femme fatale is far more notorious for her risqué love life. On the tyrant Richter scale, Catherine registers as minor quake. Queen Ravanalona I ("The Cruel") of Madagascar, on the other hand, was a female Caligula. Her 33-year rule in the 19th century is remembered as "the time when the land was dark." Known for going all Nero on her subjects, Ravanalona took special delight in persecuting Christians.

20TH CENTURY TYRANTS: This nearby era produced a rogue’s gallery of tyrants short in stature and tall in LMD. They need no introduction: Germany’s Adolf Hitler – 5'7". Italy’s Benito Mussolini – 5'6". The Soviet Union’s Joseph Stalin – 5'6". Over 20 million died under Stalin. As for Herr Hitler, the skeletal fingers of over 60 million people can point to him. Monster is the only label that befits him. The Führer, of course, had help. Among his entourage: Joseph Goebbels, Reich Minister of Propaganda, and pipsqueak. Historian William Shirer says it all: He was a "dwarfish" man with a withered left leg (one, I would add, that also described his mind). Height-wise, I came up short on Cambodia’s ruthless Pol Pot, but he fits the M.O. (think “Killing Fields”). His Khmer Rouge regime massacred millions. Even we Americans are not immune from LBMS. Behold Louisiana Governor Huey P. Long (or “Kingfish” to his cronies). Granted, he didn’t kill anybody. But history describes him as the "Despot of the Delta" or "Caesar of the Bayous" or "The first American dictator." Long’s Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer, T. Harry Williams, describes him as "a pudgy pixie." Some historians argue he was a hair’s-breadth away from ascending to the presidency before he was assassinated at age 42.

AND THEN THERE WAS LENIN: Russian Marxist revolutionary Vladimir Ilyich Lenin is in a class by himself. Like Hitler, the label tyrant doesn’t do him justice. Lenin infamously said that “one man with a gun can control 100 without one.” He ended up controlling and murdering millions. Standing at a mere 5’5”, this bookish, self-described “man of letters” leapt straight from the pages of a Dostoyevsky novel (think “The Possessed”), as Time aptly noted. The magazine (which listed him among the “Top 100 Most Important People of the Century”) observed that Lenin was “the author of mass terror and the first concentration camps ever built on the European Continent . . . [and the] initiator of the central drama — the tragedy — of our era, the rise of totalitarian states.” And the world is still paying the price for his reign.

‘CLUB TYRANT’ TODAY: If only megalomaniacs and autocrats were confined to the past. Iran’s delusional, “I’m-A-Dinner-Jacket” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – 5'0". North Korea’s “Dear Leader” and Generalissimo Kim Jong-il – 5'2". The recently disposed Pharaoh of Egypt Hosni Mubarak – 5'1" (he’s about foot shorter than 6-foot-1 Obama). Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro just missed the cut since both strongmen stand 6 feet or taller.

Too bad the story doesn’t end here. Unfortunately, the ravages of LBMS afflict tall tyrants, too.

THE TALL TYRANTS: Ghenghis Khan: “Tall, long-bearded, red-haired, and green-eyed.” Vlad the Impaler was a choir boy compared to this Original Gangsta. Roman Emperor Caligula: “Very tall, spindly legs, thin neck, sunken eyes and a broad, glowering forehead.” Communist China’s Mao Zedong stood between 5' 11” and 6’1”. Mess with this guy and he’d go on all “Cultural Revolution” on you (just ask any disobedient proletariat). And we mustn’t forget Chile's brutal dictator Augusto Pinochet: “Tall, broad-shouldered army officer with a brush mustache on his unsmiling face." At least 3197 died or disappeared under his reign. Then there’s His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada of Uganda (1971-79) who stood at 6'4", a veritable giant. Given his Hannibal Lecter-like taste for human flesh (that’s right – cannibalism), Amin's horror show is in a class by itself. Lastly, bringing up the rear are the two tyrants we especially love to hate: Saddam Hussein – 6' 2" and Colonel Muammar Qaddafi – 6’1”.

And that’s the long and short of it, so to speak. Soberly, it’s a reminder of what English writer Daniel Defoe said in the 18th century, “Nature has left this tincture in the blood, that all men would be tyrants if they could.” But that said, it’s worth remembering what Andre Malraux wrote: “I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been murderers and tyrants, and for a time they can seem invincible. But in the end they always fall. Think of it always.”