Was Cleopatra hot?

Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Stacy Schiff has a new book out about the enigmatic Last Queen of Egypt (“Cleopatra: A Life”). The NY Times has a fun interview with her; though methinks Schiff has fallen in love with her subject. But then, who can blame her? Cleopatra is an alluring figure. Just ask Julius Caesar or Mark Antony.

Reading the interview, I learned Cleopatra was Greek, not Egyptian. I had no idea. The thermo-nuclear, smokin’ hot babe actress who plays the queen in HBO’s Rome (Lyndsey Marshal, pictured) sure looks Egyptian to me. And for my mind’s eye, it was a perfectly luscious fine image. Now Schiff has screwed all that up. Thanks.

Schiff takes issue with historians who believe Cleopatra leveraged her looks and slept her way to the top. I'll defer to the biographer on that charge. But that got me to thinking about the truly crucial question. In real life, was Cleopatra hot? (Hey, c’mon, it’s Friday night, okay?)

After all, per Wikipedia, French philosopher Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) contends that Cleopatra's classically beautiful profile changed world history: "Cleopatra's nose, had it been shorter, the whole face of the world would have been changed."

The actual historical record is, unfortunately, unreliable. The description that strikes me as most honest comes from Plutarch (c. 46 – 120 AD), a Greek historian. In his “Life of Antony (XXVII),” he writes: “her beauty, as we are told, was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her." Rather, her aphrodisiac was wit and charm, and "sweetness in the tones of her voice … like an instrument of many strings."

So from Plutarch’s account, Cleopatra was no Helen of Troy, "the face that launched a thousand ships". (I’d still wager she had alluring, bedroom eyes.)  But she could sweet talk you into anything. One moment you’re discussing affairs of state and, faster than you say can Egyptian eyeliner, you’ve been bedded and married. Woulda made a great cougar. Again, just ask Julius Caesar or Mark Antony.

By the way, rumor has it that Angelina Jolie is slated to play Cleopatra in an upcoming film adapted from Schiff's biography. Until then, I’ll maintain that totally hot babe HBO actress in the imagination of my mind’s eye. ;=)