One twist short of a slinky

Earlier today, I had trouble coming up with one those succinct, witty zingers that describe people who are, well, dim bulbs. (I had Christine O'Donnell in mind.) To me, "A few fries short of a Happy Meal" and "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer" have grown kinda passé. So, I asked "The Google" for fresh ideas. Lo and behold, The Google delivered the goods in spades. A website called Amidst A Tangled Web had every dull knife zinger imaginable (and somebody truly has a lot of time on his/her hands).

Anyway, try these on for size:

Not the brightest light in the harbor.

A few screws short of a hardware store.

About as sharp as a marble.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

A few peas short of a casserole.

The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

As smart as a stick.

Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

Has an IQ of room temperature.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

All foam no beer.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Great, huh? How on earth did we live prior to 1998 B.G. (Before Google)?