Obama pulp fiction

IN AMERICA, you know you’ve made the big time when you begin appearing in pulp fiction as a two-dimensional cameo character. Mr. President, you have arrived.

THE SCENE: White House Situation Room:

A duty officer appeared, followed by the president’s chief of staff and then the president himself, dressed in an impeccable blue suit, tall and lean, his once black hair salted with gray, his roving eyes taking in everything, his jug ears sweeping the room like a radar beacon. His unflappable demeanor cast a spell over the room like oil on water, dissipating the air of tension. Everyone made to rise and the president waved his hand. “Please, please, stay seated.”

[Later]

“The what the hell do you mean by aimed?" The president was out of his seat, his legendary cool rapidly deteriorating.

[Later]

A long, extraordinary silence followed ... Finally the president spoke, his voice quiet. “Are you suggesting aliens did this?” [Briefer]: “I would not use that word, sir ...” The president smoothed a thin hand over the top of his head, let it drop, tapped a finger on the table and finally looked up. “Stan, I want you and General Mickelson to chair an ad hoc group ...”

It is decidedly not Hemingway. The prose appears in IMPACT, the latest techno-thriller by Douglas Preston. It's The New York Times Bestseller that is “Out of this world!” says the book cover breathlessly, like a slinky blonde news anchor, her green eyes glittering like sparkling diamonds set against ... Well, you get the picture. Preston never mentions Obama by name, of course. But how many presidents do you know who possess both “jug ears” and “legendary cool?” One quibble: Anyone attuned to Obama's verbal mannerisms knows he'd never say "Please, please, stay seated." It would be less formal, more like: "Keep your seats, guys." Am I right? Anyway, Preston's writing, like the characters in his novel, is stunningly two-dimensional. But it's a hoot.