I beg the Bard's forgiveness for mangling Hamlet's famous soliloquy. But the other day, I quipped to a friend that the only reason I'm on Facebook is because, well, everybody else is. Anyone who knows me knows that's a heckava revelation. You see, I was born without the human lemming gene (and that isn't necessarily a good thing). As a result, I am notorious for going in the opposite direction of the crowd. You know, just because. Besides, if everyone wants to do it, and do it simultaneously, it can't possibly be good (see left side of above photo). That's just how I roll.
More seriously, I find that there is something primaevally unpoetic about Facebook, a "world thronged together into some blind by-way," as English poet Alice Meynell might have put it. After all, what folks mostly do on Facebook (besides posting endless photos of themselves) is converse inanely (Bob: "Is that Lightning outside?" Ted: "And Rain even! Oh, my!" Alice "Likes" this.). Nevertheless, I do have a Facebook account. As an old surferdog, I know when to "duck dive" a cruncher. That's surfology for diving under a big, F-ing wave ― including a behemoth like Facebook. Anyway, all of this got me to thinking. Is everybody really on Facebook? Basically, yes.
Of the 211 million Americans now on the Internet, a whopping 72 percent have a Facebook account. Even grandma is busy "friending." It's the most visited website on the planet. Most Facebookers are Californians. Texans, New Yorkers and Floridians make up the next biggest group of users. Curiously, Arizonans use Facebook the least (what's that about?). Facebook itself says the average user has 130 friends, visits the site 40 times per month, and spends about 23 minutes on each visit. Most Facebookers are young (18-34) but the 40+ crowd is the fastest growing segment. Though I rarely visit myself, Facebook is a wonderful tool for social interaction via PC or iPhone if that floats your boat.
On the other hand, Facebook propagates the dubious idea that you are whom you friend (not unlike high school). The more "friends," the better. Never mind that these "friendships" are mostly superficial and often strictly digital. As we merrily "friend" and "poke" and build Profile Wall monuments to self-love, are we unwittingly skipping down the proverbial road to perdition? I dunno. But one thing is clear. To paraphrase novelist Zelda Fitzgerald (wife of F. Scott), many Americans don't need friends ― they only need crowds.
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