'Plump' Fiction

I really, really want to believe that the apocalypse is not nigh. Then I learn this: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has written a novel, slated for release this week. I didn't know she could read, let alone write -- even with the help of a ghostwriter (Valerie Frankel). It's entitled "A Shore Thing." Get it?

Going all comparative lit on us, one blogger (AOL's Sarah Crow) cleverly contrasted Snooki's work with the literary greats. Behold a sample.

On love:

Steinbeck: "Try to understand men. If you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and almost always leads to love."

Snooki: "Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla."

It gets worse, much worse, as Snooki's prose is contrasted with Fitzgerald, Hemingway and Faulkner -- all of whom are spinning in their respective graves. Read the entire piece here.