Thursday, February 24, 2011

We, Narcissists

Mark Zuckerberg didn't invent Facebook. We did, claim Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, the gratuitously rich and handsome twins who once worked with Harvard classmate Zuckerberg.

Per the Los Angeles Times, the 6-foot-5 brothers are contesting a $160 million out-of-court settlement they reached with Facebook three years ago. Facebook owes them more, the twins say. Much more. If they win their court appeal, they'll have a chance to score at least $600 million based on Facebook's current $50 billion valuation.

A successful appeal means they'll get another shot in court to win a new settlement amount. But once there, the current settlement is nulled. So, it's all or nothing. Legal experts say they'll likely lose their appeal. In that case, the twins will be forced to: Split the $160M already won, park it in separate Swiss accounts, and console themselves by crying into identical champagne glasses of Shipwrecked 1907 Heidsieck. What a bummer that would be.

The twins insist it's not about the money. Right. It's all about the money. A writer for the UK’s Sunday Times described the two as “the binary expression of brain meets brawn [...] men so much on a mission that they can have no comprehension how pathetically flaky we lesser mortals are.” Here's some advice from a lesser mortal: Dudes, take the bloody money and run. You think you’ll get more girls with an additional $600 million? OK, don’t answer that. Just know that narcissism, even in Facebook-obsessed America, can only take you so far.

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