Monday, September 3, 2012

And the hits just keep on coming

I was scanning Slate today when I spied an item about Russell Crowe. Apparently the actor and a friend got lost (sorta) while kayaking off Long Island. The Coast Guard helped guide them back to civilization. Why is this news? Beats me. So I grunted and prepared to click away when I spied the buried lede. Crowe was in the area filming Darren Aronofsky's upcoming movie, Noah. As in Noah's Ark. As in the Genesis flood narrative. This won't be your father's biblical epic, Aronofsky promises. "Noah was the first person to plant vineyards and drink wine and get drunk," he told the Guardian, as if that's a historical fact. "It's there in the Bible ... There was some real survivor's guilt going on there." So, Noah has 21st century-like "issues." Right. In the movie, a divine vision alerts Noah (Crowe) to God's plan to drown humanity for mistreating the earth. Why can't they be more like the Na'vi of Pandora? Anyway, Noah warns everyone that the End Is Near. They laugh and cast him and his family into the wilderness. Noah sets out to build his ark. But he needs help. So he enlists the "Watchers," a race of giant six-armed angels. And ... well, you get the picture. U.S. movie box-office revenue fell 3% this summer, the first time that's happened in 7 years, per the NY Times. Gee, I wonder if Hollywood dreck like Noah could be the leading reason?

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