‘Your Worshipfulness’

Well, it’s official. Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married. She’s a mere commoner, you know. And that’s an awfully big deal in Ye Olde England. Aw-flay. Yet another reason why I’m glad we Yanks beat the bloody Redcoats in our Revolution.

Pardon? What's that you say, M'lady?

Well, you see, Your Grace, we’re all commoners on this side of the Atlantic. And never mind, Your Highness, our instinctive urge to bow and fetch water every time we hear a veddy proper British accent. And now if Your Worship will grant my leave, this ink-stained vassal has a blog post to complete. O thank you, O Queen of Britannica. Am I not bowing properly? Um, still lower, Your Majesty?

But I digress.

Slate’s Explainer columnist Brian Palmer explains how the Brits define their have’s, have some’s and have not’s:

There are three kinds of British people: royals, nobles, and commoners. The official royal family comprises only the queen's direct relatives—her children, grandchildren in the male line, and some cousins.

The much larger nobility includes those with a direct ancestor who was granted a peerage by the monarch at some point in history. In the old days, if someone performed a useful service to the king, like helping him conquer Aquitaine or squelching a Scottish rebellion, he would reward them with a grand title like duke, marquess, earl, viscount, or baron. The title would pass to male descendants indefinitely. Those descendants are today's nobility.

The vast majority of British subjects are mere commoners like Middleton.

Tsk-tsk. Bloody aw-ful. Star Wars’ Hans Solo had it about right when he told Princess Leia: “Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.” It’s the American way ... Your Grace.