Oh no, now we're left alone with Romney

It's not like I'm going to miss Rick Santorum, the best Republican candidate the 6th century ever produced, as someone drolly quipped. His withdrawal from the race today drew much pablum about his so-called success as an underdog campaigner. Spare me. Santorum, albeit well-meaning, is a Taliban-style theocrat in a sweater vest who believeth what he speaketh. He belongs in a medieval castle (or megachurch) with a moat -- not the Oval Office. Jon Chait rang the bell of reality with his column ("Requiem for a Warm Body") today: "Santorum’s success was entirely the function of his being a Republican not named Romney who happened to be there when every other alternative had either been destroyed by Romney’s money or collapsed on its own." Precisely. There is, however, a downside to Santorum bowing out. We are now condemned to witnessing Mitt Romney's solo act for the next 8 months. Eight. Long. Months. It will be as inspiring as paint drying. But the news media will insist we watch. And it will feel like we're being subjected to the "Ludovico Technique," the fictional aversion therapy (pictured) from the 1971 film A Clockwork Orange. Swell.