Men in Black unzipped

Well, hells bells and cockle shells. Evidently, 11 members of a Secret Service advance team were caught cavorting with hookers in Cartagena, Colmbia -- just before President Obama arrived there for the Summit of the Americas. Whoops. This is the part where I could feign umbrage and wryly say: "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling whoring is going on in here!" But I won't. Little in the affairs of mice and men surprises me, least of all when it comes to The Oldest Profession. But I bet more than a few Americans are shocked. We like to think our Men in Black are Immaculate. They are of course mere mortals, prone to temptation like every other guy who habitually thinks with the wrong head. It's embarrassingly clear, too, that our horny heroes are not members of good standing with "Ocean's Eleven," the federal edition. Indeed, one wonders how a crew dumb enough to get caught with their pants down -- literally -- made the cut in the first place. The vast majority of Secret Service agents are fabulous public servants the nation can reply on. The knuckleheads in the spotlight are anomalies. Which brings me to the silver lining of this tale. After this scandal, our wayward agents (assuming they're guilty) will be lucky to find jobs as a Vegas strip club bouncers. Hope the painted ladies were worth it, amigos. Adiós.