The New New Thing

Well, it's official. The news media has found its next bright, shiny object. Drum roll, please. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. The New York Times has just rolled out an 8-page opus by Matt Bai for its Sunday magazine. Never heard of Gov. Christie? No worries, you will. He is the gruff-talking President Glen Walken (John Goodman) of The West Wing, Gov. Willie Stark of All The King's Men, Gov. Huey P. Long of Louisiana, Joe Sixpack with more brains and part Tony Soprano -- all rolled into one huge package. Weighing in at 250 lbs (at least), Christie has kept Dunkin' Donuts afloat virtually alone. "I'm pretty fat," he admitted without blinking an eye. Talk about made for TV. And man, can he walk the talk. If you thought our coverage of Sarah Palin was obscenely obsessive (she is so 2010), you ain't seen nothin' yet. Christie is not – repeat not – running for president in 2012 (he's offered to commit Seppuku to prove it), but we'll keep insisting that he is. Trust us, America, our pet goat man Christie is the next household name. He’s the “new new thing.” Just you wait.