Houston, we have a ‘Twitter problem’

Katrina vanden Heuvel, the smart editor and publisher of the magazine The Nation, is visiting Amsterdam, capital of the Netherlands. The city, the home of master Dutch painter Rembrandt, is one of Europe's most popular tourist destinations. There are no end to pleasurable diversions. What does vanden Heuvel do? Log into Twitter: "Okay, in Amsterdam, heading out 4 night, w/ hubbie obsessed about Kentucky v. Louisville game. Can't take KY out of the boy/:)" Really, Katrina? Turn the damn iPhone off. You're in Europe. Live a little. (Drawing: Rembrandt, Self-portrait in a cap, with eyes wide open, etching and burin, 1630.)

Are we a gaggle of Gumps?

H. L. Mencken set the table back in the '30s when he quipped, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the [intelligence] of the American public.” Fast-forwarding to 2012, POLITICO's Alexander Burns quoted Democratic pollster Tom Jensen as saying, “The first lesson you learn as a pollster is that people are stupid.” Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Still, with another critical election looming, that's not very comforting. But American Prospect writer Matt Corley says, relax. He writes: Stupidity, which “implies a lack of aptitude or intelligence,” is not the primary problem, according to George Washington University political scientist John Sides. Instead, ignorance “is more the problem, since a lot of non-stupid people don't necessarily follow politics very closely.” Moreover, academics say we can rely on the electorate to make rational collective decisions because the "miracle of aggregation" cancels out "the uninformed errors of individual voters." But was reelecting President Bush in 2004 rational? I'll stipulate to the likelihood that most voters are not imbeciles in the clinical sense. But the Gumpian levels of political ignorance (and naivety) that everyone agrees they exhibit scares the bejesus out of me. Per Corley, Vanderbilt political scientist Larry Bartels found that “political ignorance matters—not only for individual votes, but also for election outcomes.” Which explains Election 2004, a result produced not by idiocy but empty-headedness. I say that as a partisan, of course. Still, God help us in November. The country can ill afford to make another dumb decision regardless of how it gets made.

A penny nickel for your thoughts

In a burst of economic brilliance, Canada has decided to withdraw the penny from circulation this year, saving taxpayers about $11 million annually. The move will force retailers to round prices to the nearest nickel. Totally makes sense. If only Uncle Sam would take the hint. (Did you know it costs 2.4 cents to make one U.S. penny?)

If only ego sublimation were enough

Keith Olbermann was fired from his gig on CurrentTV. Is anyone really surprised? The stage was set for his latest flame-out when Current ousted former CEO Mark Rosenthal last July. Rosenthal, you see, recruited Olbermann to Current and "had a knack for the ego sublimation necessary for effective talent management," per the Hollywood Reporter. And selfdom is the bane of the pointless Merry-Go-Round representing Olbermann's on-air existence. His work history reads like Hamlet. ESPN fired Olbermann in 1997. Fox Sports fired him in 2001 (Rupert Murdoch said: "He's crazy.") After reaching official prima donna status as anchor of MSNBC's "Countdown," that network fired him 2010. The reasons behind Olbermann's trail of burnt bridges are all of apiece. CurrentTV summed it best: He violated the "values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty." Olbermann is his own "Worst Person in the World." I wish he would simply go away. But neurotics like him only leave the klieg lights at gunpoint, rhetorically speaking. So expect to witness another Olbermann flame-out cycle on yet another cable show coming to a TV near you.

The 'conventional wisdom' is never wrong, right?

That was quick. The jury is back already. The "conventional wisdom" has decided that the US Supreme Court will declare the Affordable Care Act unconstitutional, 5-4, courtesy of the conservative judges (Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Alito) plus Kennedy. We won't actually learn what decision the justices reached until late June. But the CW says that's just a trifling detail. Obamacare is toast. Trust us. Never mind that there are few, if any, bona fide constitutional scholars among those providing the CW. They are mostly the same windbags who get it wrong more often not. It is notable that the fella who pushed to get get Obamacare in front of SCOTUS is POTUS -- President Obama, a Havard-trained, constitutional law professor. Gee, I wonder if Mr. Obamacare himself knows something the CW doesn't?

Litigating without the facts

"FACTS are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." So said John Adams in 1770 during his famous trial defense of British soldiers involved in the Boston Massacre. Thus far, I haven't commented on Trayvon Martin v. George Zimmerman, the controversial case being tried in the court of public opinion. Those stubborn facts, or rather the lack of them, are the reason why I've stood mute. A like-minded Andrew Sullivan put it this way: "At the Dish, we've been leery of wading into an important controversy because, well, the sides were taken before all the facts were in, one of two people in the incident is dead, and the details matter." Precisely. I'll wait.

Gimme that old time corporate religion

Well, I see wiser heads prevailed at the Arizona Legislature. The Senate killed the controversial contraception bill this afternoon (though the betting is that will reanimate itself, zombie-like, at least once). The Arizona Capitol Times had a humorous postscript. To set the scene, Democratic Sen. Linda Lopez became exasperated with Republican Sen. Nancy Barto (a big-time pro-lifer) for wasting the Senate's time with the measure.

The Cap Times wrote:

And just to hammer home her point about the need for lawmakers to focus on more pressing issues, Lopez asked: “Can you tell me how many jobs this is going to create in Arizona?” Barto said she can’t say, but the legislation sends a signal to businesses that Arizona will respect their religious views, and that may attract them to the state.

Really? Wow. I've worked for a few firms in my time. But I never knew any of them had "religious views." But since Mitt Romney says corporations are people, too, I wonder if they know which denominations they belong to. I bet IBM is Roman Catholic. Walmart strikes me as Baptist. Apple? Definitely a bunch of atheists. My, my – how on earth did we get here? I kid Sen. Barto, of course. Still, wow.

Still Life with Numskull

I GUESS we can’t help it, drawing premature conclusions, that is. It’s probably rooted in a primordial impulse we Homo sapiens needed to keep from being eaten back in the Pleistocene Epoch. Better to be wrong than being dinner for a saber-tooth tiger. These thoughts came to mind as I read the reactions to today Supreme Court hearings on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act. The black-robed justices, in full Socratic Method mode, grilled the government’s lawyer and set him back on his heels a bit. It’s what they do. Afterward, the news media’s Paleolithic instincts kicked it as they rushed out to report the proceedings. "This was a train wreck for the Obama administration. This law looks like it's going to be struck down. All of the predictions including mine that the justices would not have a problem with this law were wrong," concluded CNN's legal correspondent Jeffrey Toobin. Really? A ruling won’t be made for months. What you see (today) is not necessarily what you’re going to get later. Yet, the media is already howling that Obamacare is doomed. Reporters would make a tasty treat. But there’s never a hungry saber-tooth tiger around when you need one.

Painting: Paul Cézanne, "Still Life with Skull" (Nature Morte au Crane).

Splicing contradictory DNA

QUESTION: What do you get when you cross a "very conservative, uptight [newspaper] covering the very powerful, very conservative and straitlaced people the paper so desperately works to keep happy and unruffled" with a journalist-employee of said paper who also works as a stripper at night to earn extra cash? ANSWER: You get one Sarah Tressler. Kinda like splicing contradictory DNA strands. Only in America. (POSTSCRIPT: It took about a week after the story broke, but Ms. Tressler was fired by the Houston Chronicle, her former employer. Surprise! By the way, she isn't that hot. But sexy is in the eye of the beholder, mostly.)

Gratuitous Tressler glamour shot, Maxim-style:

 

Mad Men Madness

Well, "Mad Men" is back and the Internet is all atwitter about last night's season opener. Interestingly, one observer recently pointed out (sorry, I don't have the link) that the show has less than 6 million viewers. That means most of America is not watching the show, and never has. But reading the web this morning, you'd think the entire nation was glued to their TVs as Don Draper's new wife (Jessica Pare) shimmied and sang a smoking hot rendition of "Zou Bisou Bisou." A rather sizable disconnect, n'est-ce pas?

Um, gaffe of the week?

Time's Joe Klein just wrote: "In a ‘hot mic’ conversation with the Russian president Dmitri Medvedev, Obama asked for ‘space’–that is, that Russian President Vladimir Putin not press him–on missile defense right now. He added that he’d have “more flexibility” to negotiate after the election." Klein thinks the "gaffe" will be used against Mr. Obama in the fall. "See?" Republicans will say, "Obama’s liberal-Muslim-socialist predilections will be unleashed, without check or balance, if he wins the election." And writing from the pages of Time magazine's prestigious (and highly visible) pages, Klein is sure to create a tempest in a teapot. Never mind the substance of the Obama-Medvedev talks. Thanks, Joe. You just dragged journalism deeper into the hole it is already in.

The 'curse' of Santorum

Oh. My. God. Rick Santorum said the word "bullshit" while cursing out a New York Times reporter. I had no idea that politicians, let alone presidential candidates, cursed like the rest of us. Heavens to Murgatroyd! America must be shocked, shocked, I tell you! USA Today has the full scoop here on why Santorum blew his cool -- plus the video (there's always video). Just when I thought news coverage of the candidates couldn't get any sillier, it does.

Etch-A-Sketching A Migraine

When Bloomberg News asked Ohio Art Co., the maker of Etch A Sketch, which way the firm leaned politically, spokesman Martin Killgallon said: “Etch A Sketch has right- and left-hand knobs. We speak to both parties. And together we can draw circles.” Heh. Priceless.

File Under "Too Much Information": Per Bloomberg, the Etch A Sketch toy was invented by Andre Cassagnes in the late 1950s. The French electrician’s original version, called the Telecran, used a joystick, glass and aluminum powder. Ohio Art then bought the rights. And for those of you just returning from a desert island and didn't hear the news, here's a smart take on the Romney "Etch A Sketch" kerfuffle. That, too, is priceless.

Mission Accomplished

This just in from New York magazine: "Jeremy Lin, who is no longer the world's most important person, signed a two-year deal today to become Volvo's 'brand ambassador.' His advertising will focus on the U.S and China." The terms of the endorsement contract weren't disclosed, per the Wall Street Journal. But we can safely assume millions of dollars are involved. Well played, sir.

Spring has sprung

“Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.” (Rainer Maria Rilke)

A though for Sunday

“History is orphan. It can speak, but cannot hear. It can give, but cannot take. Its wounds and tragedies can be read and known, but cannot be avoided or cured.” (Kedar Joshi)

War's dark heart

A WEEK AGO, Army SSgt Robert Bales allegedly murdered 16 Afghan civilians in cold blood. Women and children may be among the victims. Bales is innocent until proven otherwise in a military court of law. But the reported evidence thus far (possibly including a confession by Bales) appears damning. Bales, who will likely face the death penalty for his alleged crimes, is married and the father of two young children. By all accounts, he was good family man, a good soldier, and a decent human being. What on earth happened? One Army officer near the scene of the crime believes Bales "just snapped." If that is true, then we are again staring into the black heart of war's tragedy. In this circumstance, it's hard not to think of Shakespeare: “Finish, good lady; the bright day is done, And we are for the Dark.”

War's sad meaning

Thomas Bruscino, author of A Nation Forged in War: How World War II Taught Americans to Get Along (University of Tennessee): "War, after all, is about competing purposes, competing causes, competing ideals—produced by polities, defined by policymakers, put into action by military professionals, and fought for by average soldiers. War itself does not care about the relative merits of those ideals, but the outcome of war, and therefore the outcome of combat, determines which ideal wins. The outcome of war determines which cause gets to survive, thrive, and guide the lives of people in peace, and just as importantly, which cause does not get to shape the peace. Most vitally, war decides which ideal gets to be fought for again. War is regrettably a part of the human condition, and it is many awful things, but it is never meaningless."

The media giveth and the media taketh away

Speaking of our cultural theater of the absurd, NBC is reporting: "Jason Russell, 33, was allegedly found masturbating in public, vandalizing cars and possibly under the influence of something, according to the San Diego Police. Russell, as you might recall, is the co-founder of Invisible Children, the nonprofit that gave us Kony 2012, evidently the most viral video ever (per New York magazine). A press release from Invisible Children said Russell was "suffering from exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition," and that the past two weeks had taken "a severe emotional toll" on him. That's doublespeak, but no surprise. Kony 2012 was (rightly) criticized for naivety in its approach to the complicated situation in Uganda. But the angst that led to masturbating in a park suggests Russell has way deeper issues that go beyond a drubbing in the press. And the bill has come due for the white-hot publicity he sought.

Um, ice-cream activism? Really?

ON THE ONE HAND, the fact that Ben & Jerry's has whipped up pints of apple pie-flavored ice cream — called "Apple-y Ever After"— in support of same-sex marriage in the U.K. is admirable. On the other hand, Ben & Jerry's is a perfect co-star (along with Snooki and Santorum-for-president) for our early 21st century theater of the absurd. I'm not certain what is more curious: an unsubtle marketing ploy in the guise of ice-cream activism or the fact that it qualifies as breaking news. Color me bemused.

Digital Darwinism

Art by David Horsey / Los Angeles Times

Apple Madness

The line snaked around the corner "outside the New York City flagship Apple Store on Fifth Avenue Friday morning," PC Magazine reported today. First in line: One Greg Packer, age 48. He'd been camping outside the entrance for 5 days. "It's the chance to spend a week and watch the people go by. I plan to get one, possibly two," he said proudly. Another Apple acolyte who had been waiting in line for a mere two days said, "It's just a way of life. If we don't do it someone else will." Well, fellas, whatever floats your boat. But I know what a grinning Chris Rock would say: "White people."

Even the terrorists think Fox News sucks

Washington Post columnist David Ignatius was given exclusive access to documents the U.S. captured when SEAL Team Six sent Osama bin Laden to an early grave. It seems al-Qaeda planned to promote an upcoming bin Laden anniversary video. One document recommended: “It should be sent for example to ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN and maybe PBS and VOA. As for Fox News let her die in her anger. From a professional point of view, they are all on one level — except (Fox News) channel, which falls into the abyss as you know, and lacks objectivity, too.” Heh. You can't make this stuff up.

In the tank for Obama. Deal with it.

Know hope.

Um, totally too much information

Having found another beam of limelight, Meghan McCain surfaced in a Playboy interview this week (fully-clothed). The woman has an amazing talent for being famous for the sake of being famous. During her chat, Meghan got a chance to parry a question about her sexual preferences. PLAYBOY: "Say a little more about the hanging-out-in-bed-with-girlfriends part." MCCAIN: "Watch it, mister. My [girl] friends from home came over [after Election Night 2008] to support me, and we got in my parents’ big bed. They have this huge California king and we just stayed up eating ice cream. I’m not a lesbian, if that’s what you’re asking. I’d be the first person to tell the world I was gay. I’m not private about anything. I think you should live how you should live. But I’m strictly dickly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men." Strictly dickly, eh? Glad we cleared that up. Thanks for sharing, Meghan. Not that we needed to add this tidbit to our societal knowledge base.