The Untold Want

"The untold want by life and land ne'er granted, Now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find." (Walt Whitman)

Eat Pray Kill

"Somewhere on this planet an American commando is carrying out a mission. Now, say that 70 times and you’re done... for the day. Without the knowledge of the American public, a secret force within the U.S. military is undertaking operations in a majority of the world’s countries."

That's the provocative beginning of a new piece by investigative journalist Nick Turse about the U.S. Special Operations Command, or SOCOM. Its mission includes clandestine "assassinations, counterterrorist raids, long-range reconnaissance, intelligence analysis, foreign troop training, and [WMD] counter-proliferation operations." Outgoing SOCOM chief Admiral Eric Olson says our special forces number about 60,000 and operate in at least 120 countries (most by invitation). The list includes hot spots like Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Jordan, Lebanon ― and Iran. (Turse oddly omits Libya, but it's a safe bet our boots are on that ground, too.) One key sub-command is the Joint Special Operations Command, or JSOC. They specialize in tracking and killing terrorists, and report directly to the president. In effect, these operators are Obama's private army. JSOC is the outfit that took out bin Laden. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.

At a recent Aspen Institute Security Forum, Olsen let slip that similar black operations are now common. "A dozen or so are conducted every night," he said. Then there's "Project Lawrence." Taking a page from the playbook of T.E. Lawrence (as in "Lawrence of Arabia"), SOCOM hopes to duplicate the Britisher's innovative derring do by creating its own "Lawrences of Wherever." To that end, its operators are now getting advanced training in languages, history and local customs. Lawrence spoke fluent Arabic. Imagine what he could have done with night scopes, GPS, 21st century weaponry and stealth helicopters.

Even if Turse's detailed report about SOCOM is accurate, we still don't know the half of it. Or as a colleague of his put it, "We probably don’t know the tenth of it ― neither the breadth or number of their missions, nor the range of their targets." Turse writes, "Americans have yet to grapple with what it means to have a “special” force this large, this active, and this secret -- and they are unlikely to begin to do so until more information is available." But there's the rub. That information is unlikely to be forthcoming ― ever. It's a dilemma for our democracy. And it adds a new dimension to the weave of Walter Scott's “tangled web" when the government rightly or wrongly chooses to deceive.

But the true cautionary note comes from T.E. Lawrence: "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible." It isn't hard to guess what type of "dreamers" we are unleashing into the world for good or ill.

(Photo: Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia, Horizon Pictures Ltd)

Nuthin' says hip-hop like Tom Hanks

I rarely bother critiquing Fox News. I mean, what's the point? It is what it is and life's too short. But this WaMonthly item caught my eye. Last night, a gathering of friends and celebs joined President Obama in Chicago to celebrate his 50th birthday. Personalities ranged from Hillary to Stevie Wonder to Tom Hanks. The usual Democratic suspects. The music centered around Motown, hip hop, and '70s and '80s R&B. Though foot-tapping and finger-snapping were involved, a "Hard Core" Lil' Kim concert it wasn't. By all accounts, a good time was had by all. Fox News reported the event thusly: "Obama's Hip-Hop BBQ Didn't Create Jobs." Seriously. The story on its website was accompanied by what amounted to a police line-up featuring photos of Charles Barkley, Obama, Chris Rock and Jay-Z. As in, no white people. Sighing, the WaMonthly noted that "the racial angle to something like this is hard to miss." And ThinkProgress quipped, "Of course, nothing says hip hop like Tom Hanks." Fox News is a joke. This is why.

Fiddling while the pot roast burned

Apparently, Martha Stewart's Holy Roman Empire of Homemaking is now little more than smoking rubble, says New York magazine in an lengthy exposé. After Stewart was busted in 2004 for securities fraud, she spent five months at a Club Fed for women in West Virginia. While there, she "taught yoga, picked wild dandelion greens, and learned to appreciate the simple virtues of vending-machine chicken wings." Upon her release, she vowed everlasting humility. Never mind that she flew home from prison in a Dassault Falcon jet. Stewart spoke of the “tremendous privilege” of bonding with her fellow inmates. "The new, softer Martha Stewart who emerged from prison allowed microwave ovens to be referred to in her magazines for the first time. She named one of her French bulldogs Francesca, after a fellow convict. She announced plans to do a TV show about rehabilitating ­errant women while they rehabilitated a house; a fixer-upper was bought in Norwalk." Needless to say, the shtick didn't last. The TV show never happened. By year's end, Stewart stopped talking about jailhouse yoga and her friend "Francesca the convict." Preening for a Fortune magazine interview, she revealed the biggest lesson she had learned from the ordeal: “I really cannot be destroyed.” Sweet. History's ash heap awaits.

A thought in 1s and 0s

Simon Reynolds (author of "Retromania"): "The nature of digital culture seems to be centrifugal. Before, media was centripetal, pulling people toward a central hub or consensus, but digital culture seems to be about making people disagree with each other and disperse from each other."

Is the Space Shuttle a metaphor for us?

What ever happened to the hopeful future? Music writer Simon Reynolds wonders. Societal pessimism has oddly replaced optimism about the years ahead. He says it "might have something to do with politics as well, like with what's been going on in the last few weeks with the debt ceiling. No one can quite picture a future that seems positive or exciting. At one time the future seemed to suggest grand projects. Now the space shuttle program has been shut down. If I look at what young people are watching on TV and at the movies, when they're looking for heroism and romance, they're watching quasi-historical fantasies, it's not future fantasies. It's 'Game of Thrones,' 'Harry Potter,' and that kind of thing, as opposed to going to outer space or the year 3000." Interesting thought. And worrying.

Rhetoric and Regime Change

Eric Martin has a clever post about how we get sucked into war in the 21st century. He argues that the "pattern of rhetorical escalation in response to the practical limitations of bringing about regime change ... is a familiar dance, most deftly performed by those inclined to advocate for more and bigger US interventions abroad." Paraphrasing Martin's piece (for the sake of brevity and levity), here's how it's done in six easy steps:

Step 1 (Regime X acts badly): The president must condemn the regime for its abhorrent actions. Only a weak sister wouldn't. We must show our love for freedom!

Step 2 (with Regime X still in place): Are issuing harsh words all the president can do? Talk is cheap. We need sanctions to isolate this Nazi-like regime!

Step 3 (with Regime X still in place): Sanctions? Regime isolation? That never works. The president is dithering. Use swift military action to decapitate the regime and hand power to the democratic-loving indigens. What can go wrong?

Step 4 (Regime X now toppled by our military): With our troops dying in harm's way, we have a moral obligation to stay the course. If we withdraw chaos will erupt; evil will return; enemies will be emboldened.

Step 5 (repeat as needed): Only the "dead-enders" are left. We've turned the corner, shifted the momentum and victory is within reach. The next six months should prove decisive.

Step 6 (official quagmire): War is always hell. The indigenous civil war is a quirk. (Besides, Private Joker, inside them all is an American trying to get out.) But why didn't we use the Powell Doctrine (overwhelming force) in the first place? Forget public opinion. Man up, Mr. President, and send more troops. Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes. Our pride and prestige are on the line.

End game: Congress pulls the plug, ending war funding. The troops come home. Another regime begins shooting protesters. Repeat Steps 1 thru 6. Obviously, I'm having a bit of fun here. The world is a complicated place and we cannot withdraw from it. But it's more than a little ironic that this parody is not far off the mark. (Read Martin's original piece here.)

America is downgraded

I'm briefly breaking my vow to make "The Portal" a debt-ceiling-free-zone. But this news is rather important. Standard & Poors announced that it downgraded the U.S. debt from AAA to AA+ tonight, per the WaPost. This could "lead to widespread uncertainty." Or markets (more or less) won't care. Here's Ezra Klein's bottom line: "The US has never been in this situation before, so it is hard to see who is correct. When, in April, S&P declared the long-term outlook on US debt to be negative, it was the first time it had done so since Pearl Harbor. Moody’s has rated US debt as AAA since the firm started conducting ratings in 1917. There is simply no modern precedent for a US downgrade." Be sure to write a "thank you" note to your GOP Congress member for putting the nation between a rock and a hard place. (Post-It Note to self: If name on your 2012 ballot even sounds Republican, don't take chance. Just vote NO.)

Futurephobia?

"I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that's my one fear: that everything has happened; nothing exciting or new or interesting is ever going to happen again... the future is just going to be a vast, conforming suburb of the soul." (J. G. Ballard)

Famous last words

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance," said Union Major-General John Sedgwick moments before he was shot during the Spotsylvania Court House skirmish on May 9, 1864. A true story. By all accounts, Sedgwick was a brave officer who had been wounded by bullets three times in previous engagements during the Civil War.

Blowhards got you down?

Have the GOP blowhards got you down? Are you surrounded by conservatives who think they've cornered the market on truth (when in fact they hold worthless stock)? Do Republicans who can't find a fact with two hands and a flashlight drive you crazy?

Then try what I call Andrew Sullivan's "Reality Elixir No. 9. (90 Proof)". His post about President Obama's accomplishments is guaranteed to cure what ails you, lickety-split. Keep it handy and take a snort the next time your local conservative know-it-all disses Obama. No. 9 will clear your sinuses and give you the clarity of mind to retort thusly:

Political Wins: Epically defeated the Clinton party machine but still brought Hillary into his cabinet (where she has thrived). Cemented GOP's broad identity as extremists opposed to compromise. Entrenched black and Hispanic loyalty to the Democratic party. Retained decent favorable approval ratings despite worst recession since the 1930s (44% of Americans still (rightly) blame Bush for this mess, only 15 percent blame Obama). Restored America's standing in the world. Oh, and he also plugged the BP oil hole (ecological armageddon didn't happen).

Policy Wins (a partial list): Ended the US torture regime; prevented a second Great Depression; enacted universal healthcare (taking the first serious steps toward reining in costs); elevated two new female Supreme Court Justices; ended the gay ban in the military; ending the Iraq war; wisely bailed out banks and auto companies (profits now surging); advancing financial re-regulation and (slowly) balanced debt reduction without drastic cuts during the recession; humiliated the birthers (making them and The Donald look like the fools they are). Oh, and he killed bin Laden (and moving the US out of Afghanistan).

What hasn't happened: Scandals. No Katrinas or Lewinskys. No "mission accomplished" landings on aircraft carriers. No Abu Ghraibs.

To be sure, Obama hasn't been without defeats (think 2010 midterms). Gitmo is still open for business. He too often let the Republicans frame the issues. And he's not effectively using the bully pulpit to lift the nation's badly flagging spirits. But that said, his wins far outnumber his losses. And I completely agree with Sullivan's concluding observation: "When I read commentaries expounding on the notion that this man is completely out of his depth, I just have to scratch my head. Given his inheritance, this has been the most substantive first term since Ronald Reagan's. And given Obama's long-game mentality, that is setting us up for a hell of a second one." Go ahead, friend, have another snort of that No. 9 ― then [hic!] pass the bottle.

This is why art is totally cool

From ctpost.com: Hamburg, Germany just welcomed "Die Badende" ("The Bather"), a giant sculpture by artist Oliver Voss resting in Binnenalster Lake, seen here on August 3, 2011. The foam-and-steel-sculpture is about 13 feet high and 99 feet long and is scheduled to be on display for ten days. Here are more shots of Die Badende and some other giant sculptures from around the world. Photo: Getty Images, Sean Gallup / 2011 Getty Images

Monuments to the phallus

For some reason, the Saudis plan to build the world's tallest building. Why? Only Allah knows. The 3,280-foot "Kingdom Tower" will cost a staggering $1.2 billion to build. Is it me, or does it strike anyone else that this mostly about nation-states (i.e., "boys") comparing their tallywackers?

Without reason or reasonableness, what's left?

Slate's Jacob Weisberg is in a very dark mood. Skip reading this if you don't wish to join in his gloom:

"It is hard to remember a more dismal moment in American politics. The debt-ceiling crisis and the agreement that ended it point to deep dysfunction in our system. In a variety of ways, the episode portends continued short-term economic misery and long-term national decline. It's as if the United States chose at the last minute not to commit financial suicide—but only out of preference for a slower, more excruciating form of self-destruction. ..."

"At the level of political culture, we have learned some other sobering lessons: that compromise is dead and that there's no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people. The president has tried reasonableness and he has failed. It has been astonishing to watch Obama's sheer unwillingness to give up on his opponents after their refusal to work with him on the stimulus package, health care reform, or the extension of the Bush tax cuts last fall. A Congress dominated by mindless cannibals is now feasting on a supine president."

It's a devastating piece. And it's hard to disagree with any of it. If neither reason nor reasonableness (nor compromise) work anymore, then what's left? His bottom line: "The debt-ceiling debacle revealed that politics is broken in every possible way." For once, I'm left speechless.

Nut-case alert

Serial firebrand Michelle Malkin calls Pamela Geller a "hot female host with a good sense of humor." I think Bill Maher once called her a "political MILF." Well, she looks the part, but I'll refrain from jumping to any conclusions. So let's just ignore all those nasty things Geller says on her blog ("Atlas Shrugs") and assume she lives all nunnery-like (pay no attention to the temptress statue gracing her blog.) But it is worrying that Geller has gone all Mein Kampf on us in a new book: "Stop the Islamization of America: A Practical Guide to the Resistance." Gosh, who knew war had broken out in the heartland? Here's an excerpt from the book cover blurb: "Islamic supremacism is seeping into every aspect of American life. Islamic jihad groups aren’t solely concentrating on terror attacks ... but on the creeping encroachment to introduce Islamic law into this country, step-by-step and bit-by-bit, until finally America wakes up to a country transformed into an Islamic state." Breathtakingly schizoid, isn't it? Our freedom of speech is rightly protected by the First Amendment. But there are times when I wish the Founders had left us a little leeway for garbage from the likes of Ms. Geller.

Obama Turns 50 Despite GOP Opposition

The Onion strikes again: "WASHINGTON—After months of heated negotiations and failed attempts to achieve any kind of consensus, President Obama turned 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress ... According to White House officials, Obama attempted to work with Republicans right up until the Aug. 4 deadline, but was ultimately left with no choice except to turn a year older." Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

Worst. Cologne. Ever.

OK, guys, listen up. Here's how not to impress the ladies (plus a bonus tip: digging the hole you're in faster and deeper). Veronica Corningstone: "My God, what is that smell?" Brian Fantana: "That's the smell of desire my lady." Corningstone: "God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food." Fantana: "You know, desire smells like that to some people." (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy)

Cruisin' for Slate crack

Somehow, I must summon the fortitude to stop picking on Slate's Explainer column. But I can't help it (as I hand the Slate dealer my page hits so I can feed my Explainer crack habit). Today's brilliant offering: Can a Heat Wave Make You Insane? Answer: "It depends on how hot it is, and whether you're mentally stable to begin with." D'oh! Well, I asked for it, didn't I?

The end is near, again

It must be a DNA thing. Or something in the water. To paraphrase Democratic strategist Ann Lewis, people and investors face the same occupational hazard as generals ― focusing on the last battle and overreacting to it. Hence the hyperventilation over today's stock market plunge. You'd think it's the Wall Street Crash of 1929. Yes, the Dow Jones industrial average dropped more than 400 points. And yes, that ain't good if you're selling stocks today (the smart play: hold 'em, don't fold 'em). But we're not likely to enter "Black Thursday" territory (ok, those might be famous "last words," but I'll stick to my guns). However, we are probably in "correction" territory, the experts say. So why is the stock market diving? A perfect storm of stuff: skittish investors, the unhelpful debt ceiling debate (thanks Republicans!), dismal economic reports, Europe's government-debt crisis, computer-driven trading (which stokes the slide) and, as always, media hype. Oh, and perhaps the most important reason of all: "Markets work in strange and mysterious ways," as Michael Purves, chief strategist at BCG Financial, aptly observes. When the waters get choppy, I prefer to keep Helen Keller's wisdom in mind: "All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming."

Why we need to watch 'em like a hawk

"If once (the people) become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress and Assemblies, Judges and Governors, shall all become wolves. It seems to be the law of our general nature, in spite of individual exceptions." (Thomas Jefferson)

It's all Obama's fault even when it's not

Thomas Jefferson said, "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free ... it expects what never was and never will be." We're paying the price for not taking these words to heart. Politicians and pundits alike take it on faith that Americans are largely uninformed. That's how the president can be (unhelpfully) blamed for all that ails us. It was true for Bush, and it's true for Obama. Today's Republican meme is that President Obama's policies are weakening the economy. The facts indicate otherwise. David Frum notes there has been no surge in federal regulation (which strangles capitalism, conservatives argue). "Obama's only tax increases -- those contained in the Affordable Care Act - do not go into effect until 2014. Personal income tax rates and corporate tax rates are no higher today than they have been for the past decade. The payroll tax has actually been cut by 2 points. Total federal tax collections have dropped by 4 points of GDP since 2007, the lowest rate since the Truman administration. If so minded, you could describe Barack Obama as the biggest tax cutter in American history." Unfortunately, as the Washington Monthly concludes, this level of analysis is moot: "For many Americans, Obama is the president, the president is supposed to be powerful, and conditions are poor. Ergo, blame the guy in the Oval Office, whether it makes sense or not." The scariest part is that the citizenry, in its ignorance, could conceivably replace Obama with the fools who drove them into the economic ditch in the first place. Then again, such an outcome would prove H. L. Mencken's theory about democracy: "The common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."

Coming to a theater near you

The New York Times calls this summer “A Golden Age of Foreign Films, Mostly Unseen.” By American moviegoers, that is. The estimable David Ignatius, taking a break from his foreign policy beat, decries the woeful quality of American films in contrast to foreign offerings. He writes: "This summer’s celluloid epics have mostly been as limp and flavorless as wet popcorn." He ticks off the “summer blockbusters” thus far: "Scream 4, Thor, The Hangover Part II, Kung Fu Panda 2... " Well, you get the picture (pun intended). Ignatius says that’s a pretty depressing list. "[E]ight sequels; three comic-book action heroes; two lame cartoons; one film inspired by a ride at a theme park; another inspired by a toy." He goes on to sing the praises of foreign movies, citing “Incendies” and “Biutiful” (both are excellent, I hear). Ignatius is right in a sense. The sheer awfulness of many films made in the USA is breathtaking. For every Casablanca or Unforgiven there are ten celluloid embarrassments like Police Academy and Scary Movie. For every movie that takes entertainment to brilliant new heights (think Raiders of the Lost Ark) there are ten more that take it to frightening new lows (think Gigli, Showgirls and Troll 2). But Ignatius paints with too broad a brush, methinks. He misses the odd Darwinian process that drives Tinsel Town. Hollywood's genius lies in its creative madness, its freedom to flail and fail. Granted, what mostly evolves from the ooze is stunted, celluloid junk (though much of it profitable). But through prodigious happenstance, the chaos quietly fertilizes pockets of movie-making soil in which brilliance can germinate. And when, inevitably, a Godfather or a To Kill A Mockingbird or a Traffic emerges, it rocks the cinematic world to its foundations, altering the filmmaking paradigm yet again. Yes, foreigners make great films. But we make magic.

Debt Debate: A Final Recap (I Promise)

Finito. I'm done writing about the debt ceiling debate. Really. I'm serious this time. But I'm giving POLITICO's Roger Simon the last word since he perfectly captured the absurdity of it all:

A six-shooter lies gleaming on the table.

There are five bullets in its chambers. You spin the cylinder and hold the gun to America’s head.

“Stop, don’t pull the trigger!” says Barack Obama. “We can’t risk America’s future.”

“Aww, go ahead and shoot,” say the Republicans. “Maybe it will reduce the size of government … permanently.”

And that was the debt ceiling debate. President Obama was not willing to risk a default that might ruin the American economy and topple the world’s financial system. The Republicans, or more specifically the tea party Republicans in the House, simply did not care. Some said that they wanted default. It would be healthy. America could sell off its national parks and the gold reserves in Fort Knox. I kid you not. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

America is doing both. And the Founders are spinning in their graves. Peace. Out.

The trouble with birthdays

Jerry Seinfeld: You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."

Tomorrow, all the world is birthday cake

President Obama turns 50 tomorrow. Out of idle curiosity, I Googled "Obama 50th birthday" -- and got back over 700 results. That translates into hundreds of news stories. The page hit pimps have staked out every digital street corner peddling slideshows depicting "before and after" photos of graying presidential hair. Oh, and everybody's a comedian. A "birthday card" from Speaker John Boehner: "Half a century ― now that's a Big Deal." Get it? Flying on auto-pilot, Commentariat musings about the presidential birthday are a variation of James Oliphant's theme: "President Obama turns 50 Thursday, unquestionably older, grayer and less popular than when he took office ...", blah blah. Then there's the inevitable trivia. Abe Lincoln thought birthdays were much ado about nothing. He celebrated none at the White House, according to biographer Emanuel Hertz. Teddy Roosevelt is the only other president who turned 50 while in office. It too was a "low-key affair," according to Time magazine. Time also noted that "the most famous presidential birthday bash is undoubtedly JFK's 45th in 1962." It featured actress and Playboy centerfold Marilyn Monroe's sultry serenade, "Happy birthday, Mr. President." Trust me, Obama Girl (Amber Ettinger, a Maxim centerfold) won't be allowed anywhere Obama (see Michelle Obama). If I could draft a birthday note to Mr. Obama, I'd quote Jean Paul: "Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time." Being erudite, I'm sure the president would appreciate the sentiment. But he'd probably be more impressed with what ex-Senator John Glenn once said: "There is still no cure for the common birthday."

Take it away, Ms. Monroe: